I’m of English/Iranian background and one night I was walking to the local train station from my grandmother’s house, in Hounslow, after visiting her. She had previously given me £300 for a birthday present, which I’d used to purchase the SureFire V2 Vampire® in my pocket. As I passed an old, grungy pub with a lot of drunks stumbling around it, one of them thought it was funny to squirt the closest bottle of ketchup at the so-called “Paki’s” jacket.
I approached the man, with courtesy, knowing he was drunk, and told him that was foolish of him to do such a thing, and I asked for an apology. He and his friends took offense, and the bubbly drunks suddenly turned into an angry foursome. The great ketchup warrior tried to give me a right hook to the jaw, but missed, and I ran for it, all four of them in tow after me. After 200 meters or so, two of them ran out of stamina and balance, leaving me with only two on my tail. I ran into a crowd of people, in the entrance of the train station, waiting for taxis or to be picked up. Being drunk and confused, my two pursuers lingered around the crowd instead of coming after me. As they lingered, I turned my V2 Vampire on and, wow, what a bright light! I shined it into their eyes and shouted, “Police, stay right there, you two!” The sheer blinding intensity of the V2 Vampire’s light was enough to spook them off; they ran off with their tails between their legs, until my sober eyes couldn't see them anymore.
I’m positive that if I hadn’t made that invaluable purchase from SureFire, I would probably be missing a row of teeth now. Buy the V2 Vampire, if you can. It’ll be the purchase of your lifetime. Thanks, SureFire, and keep lighting up the dark.
See the V2 flashlight: